lonely soul......

i wonder plunging myself into an icy lake..

Could ease this twinge ...?

too numb with distress to cry out

with my soul being painted blue and grey..

doomed in a world of people ,now strangers

it was too late to perceive..

the shadows around me are turning hazy...

and im walking in a cloud of smog..

blessed are those insane souls

drowned in their own world

reality too far to face with....

they are so filled with luck

there is no hope in sight still..

i wish my life never turned prosaic

my dreams stay green...

and i got choices to make...
Back in blogsvilla after a month.....the most shocking incident of the month would be MJ's death..i never read newspapers,so it was ma friend who informed that he is no more..
i was like ..hey,don't lie in the very morning. she finally gave me the newspaper so that i believe. He is such a talented superstar.the first english track i listened to was his thriller...it was simply awesome.i love almost all his tracks and ma mom loves his 'beat it'...though he is no more,his tracks will keep him immortal...you will rock forever MJ

Our s4 is on the verge of an end..all internals and labs are done,with just the universities remaining..
it was a time for friends..i usually sit in the first bench along with Bim n Mumthu,now dont ever dare to think that that 1st benches are reserved for bhujjis.we ask all kinda silly crazy doubts,never give away any right answers, have fun, chat, listen 2 lectures..and do all kinda nonsense being there.But i think im the only one who dont mind sleeping siting there...only once i was caught ...:) it's that i bunk clases only for sleeping.once i was drawing lines,while mam was dictating notes in ma short so called 'nap' during an aftrnun hour and ma benchmates were enjoying all the fun..i was falling in between,looking around..again sleepin.they love me in this unstable state..and they used to imitate me when im back to senses.well,i love siting between them..though both of them push me to the middle seat.. they both fight for silly things and their pinches n slaps and all.. are tolerated by me..
the other common point about us is that we are always hungry and can run 2 canteen at any time,even in btw classes:P. we comment on guys,we learn..we gossip,we iritate..we are the world..i love being with these two fellas.wish we stay friends like this forever..dedicated to you guys..love you both..

though im not sleepy right now..im really in a state which made me feel like scribbling these lines...
* wish i had wings..
wana fly away from all those who make me cry....
make me desperate..
make me feel insecure and hopeless..
wish god gave me wings...
so that i can fly n fly...
and touch the lovely blue sky...*

Joan jett..the best rock girl ever..she rose to fame in the 70's all-girl rock band-the runaways ...she started her own record label,the blackhearts because noone was ready to sign them..

She was ranked #32 on vh1's greatest women of rock n roll.Her single "i love rock n roll" went #1 on the billboard charts in 82(the original track was from 'the arrows' though)she blasted the song off.She was nominated for the best vocal performance for the song-" i hate myself for loving you"..which is my all time favorite

the lyrics goes this way...

i think of you every night and day...
you took my heart n you took my pride away..
i hate myself for loving you..
can't break free from the things you do..
i wana walk but i run back to you..
thats why i hate myself for loving you...!

After hearing this song ,you will feel much better if you aren't sure whether you love someone or hate him that much..it leads to another track,' when love and hate collide' from creed...Joan is such a power woman ..in every manner and this track is really classey! so don't forget to check it out in you tube,you can  find her everywhere almost :P. Britney actually had a cover of her song,i love rock n roll..and i can swear an hundred times that noone the hell can beat joan,she is simply the best

So im really back after alot many dayz..i was down with viral fever for 1 whole week and tomorrow im getting back 2 my college hostel..but as every col student feels...you wana be @ college when you are having holidays..and when the holidays are gona end u wana stay home!
well...the grass is always green on the other side! :) so c yu guyz soon...keep chilling,enjoy ya life..dream alot and aim high...
will miss yu all... :(

Recession ....it is the hottest article in the newspaper nowadays... it will take an year or more for the situation to get fine..

To an extend it has hit the working class really hard.Either people are kicked off their jobs one morning or are forced to work @ a minimal salary...who is to blame? Even people with experience is given no consideration...

It is difficult for people who lived in high standards of life to switch to a lower one all of a sudden..people  who thought of purchasing the latest skoda finds themselves satisfied with a simple nano..shifting from huge flats to small appartments and so many such uninvited troubles..even a pg student finds it difficult to find a job these days..hope we can expect the situation to be in hand soon else mere living will turn out to be a difficult issue for the working class

I have been seeing mtv fab life lately..i found that even now all the celebs go for splendid farmhouses ,latest mercedes E,F..(whatever classes) They earn crores for a single advertisement,should they be paid this huge? hasn't the recession hit the film industry..??
cricket is given a lot of respect in our country..all are under the IPL sensation..
it is truely a spirit i agree.However when the common man finds it difficult to live..should they given this importance?do they worth ya precious time..??i leav it for you to answer... 

To be frank..i always wanted to die young ,im really scared to get old. When Shravan tagged to write about the last day of ma life..i had this thought running on ma mind,how can i leave this beautiful world without achieving my dreams? i wanted to see the next sunrise soo badly and i really don't feel like dying young now,thanks 2 shravan

So now i know that tomorrow is the last day of ma life..taking it to my heart,i write..

I would try to get up as early as possible,4.00 am would do..i have never seen that time till now(i wouldn't need any alarm to get up coz i won't get sleep at all)i will study for about one hour for sure(has been ma dream to wake up early and study @ this time atleast once)It is a good start though it is leading to my end"..then prepare coffee for my mom,sit beside her for a while,give her ma last kiss.touch her feet and leave without waking her up...I will take take ma ipod,ma cell and im really sad... mine is a desktop,else i would take that too.. (gadgets that i can't live without!) I will walk enjoying the cool breeze,with ma favorite track playing..it's my life..dunno howmany miles il feel like walking today..i will watch the mass and pray for forgiving all ma sins and to give a small lil place for me in heaven..

I would go for meeting my best friend S now,i wana enjoy every single minute of ma last day..i won't tell her about ma death,i wanna see her smiling always.I will rock with her completely for 2 hrs...then i will call upon all my dear friends and give them a huge treat @pizza corner and have all those junks i would die for..i would iritate all of them,crack all possible jokes i know and take lots f piczz with them and ask them 2 check whenever they miss me :) i always wanted to own a corolla(im not rich enough to buy 1 now,so il take it for rent) and go for a long drive...I would call every guy  who proposed me and tell that im really sorry and  to please consider me as their friend..

I would go and check out ma blog and write my final post and scrap all my orkut friends a final goodbye..

 Now the remaining time i wana spent with the person i love,so that i could die in his arms.I would pick him up,asking him to come along for shopping.I would ask him 2 select a dress of his choice(so that i could see him lose his nerves for the last time then!) i would love to hav tea in the rain(if it rained then)..and then go for a final make over.Go for the final date with him,wearing the dress which he selected..dance with him to the song-"breathless from the corrs" and whisper in his ears  that..i need you and i love you

It is eve..i would go for a drive to  the beach then,playing music really aloud and singing along...i love the fragnance of the salty winds and today il love it more.I would jump on the bonnet and see the last sunset of my life with him..i would drink champagne,play guitar..then count the stars with him,shout aloud that ..."i love my life and im not afraid to die.." finally lay ma head on his shoulders, with his fingers clutched in my hand ..telling him my final words..smiling

" i have always loved you and will love you after my death too..tell me that you will never leave me and you will love me forever,i wanna hear that ..i will miss you like hell,take care "

# update: i won't never ever read this post..im getting scared thinking about 

i would like to tag  4 terrific bloggers: let me see whether you dare enough to write about ya last day...and plz roll over the tag...
so here we go..

Dear momie..

I wana thank you for giving me soo much of love and taking care of me,for forgiving me everytime,i fought with you,for allowing me to make silly reasons,for being with me when i cried,for sharing ma joys,for inspiring me when i was down..for loving me the way im,even if i was a hell lot of trouble
      Even if i couldn't be the best daughter in this world,i always wanted to keep you happy and i promise you that i will never let you down.you are my best friend and the prettiest gal i have ever known.Wishing you a happy mother's day.love you lots...

your naughty gal

i gave this note to ma mom ,i wanted to gift her something,so i gave her a sweet kiss and she was in tears ...

really din't want to make you cry mom...i told and gave her a hug
she smiled..
and i told,that is more like my momie,love you!:)

i was really glad that it was sunday,so that i could spent a lot of time with her..today i din't make her call my name a hundred times for doing some works,helped her with everything she did,cooking,cleaning and washing and all..and im a horrible cook! Talked with her long for a long time and gave her company to watch all her favorite shows on tv.im glad that i could keep her happy, this mother's day..so what did you do for ya mom today??

Ever imagined a life alone,with no friends to give you a company?? you could try staying like that for two days but i bet you can't go on for more than a week..

Friends play an important role in our lives..sometimes,busy times hit us soo hard that we drown in our own lives and forget about all those who made our life perfect. They might be longing for your calls,for your scraps and your msgs,don't let them down..a single 'miss you' of yours can bring a sweet smile on their faces,a hug of yours can cheer them up

I remember those school days where me n ma best friend S used to play pranks..ours was a difficult relation.We fought whole day for silly reasons and in the  evening went home,hand in hand..noone couldn't ever replace her.You can have plenty of friends,who practically know nothing about you or can have a few friends who can even understand you in every state of ya life and will be there for you always..

*it happened to 2 of ma friends!!
There might be times when 2 close friends liked the same guy,but didn't tell each other..but only later,came to know that he was already engaged.
let me dramatise the situation,like if it was me n S..

me:   yar,im really sad..:(
S:      so am i i da,what hapend to you?
me:   see i liked this guy(some name),was crazy about him and now i came to know he is engaged!
S:      (shocked) itz ok dear..we can't find someone else better.cheer up da
          well,me 2 liked the same guy,ha,never mind:(
me:    oh,shit..ha,leav it :(
S:       well,he don't look much good..i don't like his eyes
me:    i don't lik it either..he is not tall enough!
both giggle...:)
S:       lets go and have an ice cream
me:    ya da,i want a cornetto..

*the end of all ya senti feelings !! 

Don't ever lose them,they can make you cry,can get you in trouble,can make you lose your nerves,can screw you up..but you can never be really angry on them,you always had enjoyed those moments...they are the only ones who can vanish your tensions..who can raise your spirits and ever won't let others to speak a single word bad, about you..So if you haven't called your friends for long,itz time to tell them that how much they mean to you!! 

 And this is for all ma dear friends...thanks for being with me,for understanding me,for tolerating me..and please, you can shout at me,you can hit me..but don't ever leav me,don't even dare!
can't imagine a life without you guyz.. tu nahi ho tho kaun hey mera??love you all..:)

every1 has a best friend during each stage of lyf..only lucky 1ns have d same friend in all stages of life!